Last year during the HSC, I dealt with stress very well: it motivated me to study hard and in the end, I did quite well. When it comes to study, stress guides my way and pushes me to do what I need to do.
But when it comes to work, I can never fall asleep at night. Even if it's just one thing that I messed up, I think about it for ages and ages, multiple times throughout the day and unrepeatedly at night, I could lay there forever and still not understand why I need to be stressing when my manager will take care of it.
The worst thing is to know that you brought it all upon yourself. Time and time again I overestimate the workload I can handle and end up in a mess not because of my studies, but because of work. Recently, I worked three jobs and shifts constantly clashed with one another. One day I was working 12 hours straight, one job after another and not once did I question why I was working so hard because I like keeping myself occupied. But then I progressed within one of my jobs and greater responsibilities came. With better jobs comes greater responsibilities. From getting a question wrong and saying sorry, to putting in a wrong order for a coffee, to a potential $1k loss for the store; the stress just builds up every day you're working. Aside from tutoring jobs, greater pay and better jobs always come with greater responsibilities and I am beginning to question whether I can take on these increasing responsibilities at a great enough speed.
The other thing that concerns me most is what other people think of me. I would rather my manager fire me than having to resign. I like to build strong connection with my colleagues. Every team has a different attitude and values that everyone within the group adopts. Having moved from one job to another, and working for three jobs at once, I often question what set of values and personality best suits me.
For example, I worked as a tutor, barista and telecommunications customer advisor all at once. When people ask me where I work, I don't tell them I work three jobs cause they'll think I'm crazy, so I just pick one. Saying "I work at a cafe", gives off a very different vibe to "I work in telecommunications". One gives of a sweet, obedient kind of personality while the other gives off (you could say) a geeky, well-informed vibe. I thus find myself picking one that I feel best suits the other person's interests and liking.
Mind you, I've quit my jobs and I only have one left but now there is a chance of career progression into a completely more dynamic and complex environment with even greater responsibilities. I only very recently (not even a month ago) decide I would go with one job and now I might be switching. While I am very excited about the opportunity to move into this next field, I am quite lost on how my personality will be shaped hereafter.