Say you're sorry
That face of an angel comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
'Cause I honestly believed in you

Holding on, the days drag on
Stupid girl, I should have known
I should have known 

That I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around 

Baby I was naive
Got lost in your eyes and never really had a chance
My mistake, I didn't know that to be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings, now I know 

That I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around 

And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted, but I'm so sorry 

'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
And it's too late for you and your white horse
Now it's too late for you and your white horse to catch me now
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now
Oh, it's too late to catch me now

studying again
cant wait till formal
cant wait till schoolies
seeing couples form around me makes me want someone but no one i want
im happy but sad at hte same time
i need more motivation to study
hsc is too soon
i miss everyone
im a faggot for crying, so many people have told me that
i should study
bye

 chem crew bb

 stayed up till 5am doing this, 0/10 regret
I made roger cry AHAH it was fun anyway, I enjoyed it very much :)

pj day; thursday, did not even wear pjs yolo
fuckin jess, so beautiful

 variety night

graduation: friday


grade at beach afterwards


dinner at city, meetfresh omg i love you guys


I am safe to say that this was the best week I've had in my entire schooling life and possibly the best week ever. I cried at least 5 times. There was a point where we were jus twaiting for the boys to buy meetfresh and i was outside with half the group and just started crying HAHA
Then we went darl harbour and one of my friends kept telling me he'd never see me again cause hes going interstate probs and I was super emotional and bawled my eyes out again. crying so hard my voice was whiny as fuck and couldnt talk HAHAHA fuauaodfjldkjfffaur
I FUCKIN LOVE YOU ALL HNGHHHH

credits to daniel b x.

fkn derpiest cunts out; going formal with this faggot too. prob get downies award.


PICNIC DAY :) got all wet from water fight but it was a fun fun day
fuqqqqqq gonna miss school so much
funny cause ive been close and started talking to a lot more people recently and we're graduating in 3 days :( OIGJDSLFKJLSD

there are so many things to be happy about, and so many things to be upset about. suprisingly, it's not really making me feel much, I've been pretty emotionless lately. Haven't been able to cry in a while.

Well let's see. We'll start with the happy. I'm happy cause I'm excited for formal, I've made a few new friends lately, I'm not going through some massive emotional turmoil thing, I have a few great friends that I absolutely adore.
On the other hand, I'm sad cause I keep remembering that i lost a friend, I should be studying and I never do, school's nearly over.

There's something I'm really worried about. I don't know what to do, it makes me feel bad. I don't really know, I'm tired, it's late, I should go. bye.

No let's be honest with you, I feel kinda shit. I've been feeling pretty shit lately.
I wrote this somewhere else but read it anyway

In fact, life is so focused on relationships that we often forget the importance of solitude. We spend all our time living up to the reputation and expectation of others and often forget, not to look in the mirror, but to look within ourselves and find value. Past the skin, not even at the heart, but rather in our soul. And personally, I believe I have let too many people inside that its been damaged. Maybe I just gotta take a break, lock the doors so no one can come in anymore, fix up a little something inside and find myself again.

so yea im studying srs
up till now herp, prob gonna sleep soon, after this
actually i dont have anything to say, im too tired and feel like shit
bye

I wouldn't say a lot happened, but I guess when people don't have to study, shit is stirred.

I know this person won't read my blog but that's why I'm writing it. However, I can't help but use second person because it just doesn't feel the same; so here it is:

A few nights ago, I laid in bed thinking about you. Thinking about how we used to make jokes about each other, how you used to call me all the time for the littlest things, like that time we talked for an hour about how you didn't know what to do cause you really wanted to tell this girl that you liked her. I even saved the birthday message you sent to me and read it again that night, and nearly cried cause it was something inside that made me sad that we were so close as friends and maybe something happened to you to make us fall apart. I was worried, and all along I told people not to confront you about it cause I didn't wanna seem nosy or anything.
Then do you know what I heard the next day? I heard youve been telling everyone about the things I've told you when we were best of friends. Things that I haven't told anyone before, the secrets that I told you not to tell anyone. It fucking hurt to know that you treated me like that, that you actually fucking hate me. Really, what the fuck did I ever do to you. Maybe say a few mean things, take jokes a bit too far, but do I deserve to be treated like this? Just cause I'm not your friend anymore, do you need to spread shit about me? At first it made me really mad, but now I just laugh at myself while I'm crying cause I'm so fucking stupid to have thought that we had a thing. Who the fuck are you, what did I ever fucking do.
And this is why I didn't trust anyone. This is why there's more reason not to fucking trust anyone again.

I don't feel like studying/making notes so let's write a story (which will be unfinished as usual) :)

I turn from facing the wall, to facing the clock, and back again. The clock reads 2.33am and the restlessness still tickles my body from the inside and the fatigue pulls my eyelids closed from the outside. But it's not darkness I see, it's the memories replaying like a broken record. Memories of the times you put your arms around me and we laughed hysterically over stupid jokes. Memories of when you held my face in your hands and kissed me gently. It's true what they say. You don't want it until it's gone, so all I'm left with, is memories of hyperbolised happiness and selective recounts.
You usually hear forgive but don't forget. But I'm the other way round. I lie here torturing myself with all the happy memories, not having forgiven the people I left, but only forgotten their mistakes and only seek to remember the best. I feel the pain of weights hanging off my shoulders and my chest, I hear my heart's complaints of the weights as each beat drains its strength. My body wants to surrender and fall it a deep trance of sleep. My mind tortures my body, so painful so close to death, but never there. Just a little longer, it says, just a little longer until you die.
I lose track of the time as the memories keep replaying vividly through my mind.
Then finally, I fall asleep. The mind games are over. The torture is over.

oh i did finish it, lewl first time in a while
I've written enough for today, enjoy the rest of your day :)

Josephine
I blog to keep track of my thoughts, so that one day I can read it over and see how much I've grown. Would you like to join me on this journey? :)

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