but good news i did end up topping phys for trials :) feels good when you beat all the boys in maths and science, feels so gooooooood; not a feminist at all i swear

so yeeaap ive just been dicking around, youtube videos all day, not going to school/leaving school early, living the life HAHA

but no dont worry ill start studying again next week and then all the anguses will be dominated and everyoen will be miron and theyll all be like shit josephine.... how did you get 99.95 and ill be like hahahaha i dont know man im just pretty amazing

im joking im joking i wish i could get 99.95

okay ill write a bit before i go youtube again, i should be doing my coop app ffs so much slacking off

I have a friend who is very very similar to me. We had a phone call once at 1-2am for a coupla hours and we were just talking about our interests. It makes me excited when people have the same interests as me, and it's funny cause we took it in turns to name our interests and every single interest matched up. Sounds unrealistic, but it got that unrealistic to the point where we said "okay no more, this is too fkn unbelievable". However, we seem pretty different. Maybe it's how the gender thing plays out on an individual, and the social influences. People say to me, "why are you friends with him?" and although the people who ask are also my very good friends, I defensively say "why not, he's a good guy, whats wrong with him". Because people see us as different on the outside. We are, we are very different on the outside, we're pretty much the same person on the inside. 

So when everyone else just wants to see him crash and burn, I wanna see him succeed so that like me, he can come back and say "i did it, you said id fail but i did it". I hate irate people but the best thing about it is saying to them "watch me", and then succeeding so they have nothing to say. I love that. 

Which brings me to the next point about ego. When you wanna do nice things, help people, is it for the benefit of them or is it for the benefit of yourself; that is, makes you feel better, makes you look good for doing it etc. And as much as you say it may be for the benefit of them, youre actually primarily doing it for yourself because it makes you feel better about the people around you, it makes you feel better about hte world and what youve done. amirite? I remember someone once said to me, humans are driven by one or more of the three things: power, money, ego. 

Mother Theresa was driven by ego, an ego to help people as I have discussed before, because it makes her feel better. 

Hitler was driven by power.

The wealthy are driven by money. 

Is that to say that being driven by power and money is bad, and being driven by ego is good? 

Personally, I cannot decide, but I would lean towards that idea. But right now, I'm driven by ego and for some reason, it doesn't make me happy either. 

I'm really not sure. 

But yes, that's that, enough said today, enough thoughts randomly throw in here, enjoy your week :)