came home coupla hours ago from frineds house, watching state of origin and hotpoting with the boiz :D then roasting mashmallows in the fireplace so now my hair smells like smoke eheh
nice night out, very sleepy but not bedtime yet
So much has happened the past few days, it's just hit me that I have found myself in the same situation again. No, not the one you think I'm talking about, but rather, I found a special friendship, like one that I used to have, but ruined because of my silly silly mistakes.
It is not unless you are a dependent, yet outgoing person, that you see the value of friendships and begin to treasure them. No, not take them too far, but just the right steps. But then again, it's so hard to draw the line that maybe, it's easier to retreat to where all friends are supposed to stay.
And maybe like I've read, sexual love is not so important after all, but what we need to seek is friendship love and familial love. These types of love that last the longest and are actually safe and comfortable, rather than bittersweet and risky. Are we seeking a sense of stability and something to rely on, or are we merely still searching for impulsive flings?
Then comes the question for me, if its stability im searching for, then why does these stupid little flings matter? I can just mess around and it shouldn't impact me at all because in the end, my friends and family will still be there fore me nonetheless and nothing would have changed.
So should I say, why not, or why bother?
Someone said whatever makes you happy, but we all know that doesn't end well.
Am I risking friendships from doing this, or am I merely enhancing them? I don't know, I just know that I am not willing to sacrifice these friends I've found, for some stupid fucking impulsive decision.
I've taken years to find these people. You don't just take them away from me like that.