Rewind;

phys prac

cbf rotating, tilt your fat head.
im addicted to coffee now fuar, have to have one everyday. but seriously, coffee is some nice shizzles.

so yes, i have not been studying cause im too busy dicking around doing nothing. just slacking off I guess. I don't really have an incentive to study anymore, prob cause I know I'll get into what I want to do most likely, so I don't need to do extremely well or anything.

i don't know I really have nothing to say so gl to everyone in trials, study hard
lol jokes i dont really give a fuck about you plsleavenow

turns out i got 100 for my 3u, so i can say what i wanted to say: i took a shit in the middle of my maths exam and i got full marks. comeatmepls

i dont know what my life has become. school, go home, study, short sleep, school, home, study
fuaaar waiting till end of trials

I don't know when it happened, but I don't feel guilt or sympathy anymore. I don't give a fuck about anyone or what they think, even my closest friends, I have felt myself growing insensitive to the feelings of everyone and have grown so much less self-conscious. No fuck given about society.

so today i got 4u paper back and I realise I went full retard cause i thought 4+2+2 = 3 and then i nearly fucking shot myself cause that was the one and only mark I lost. so close to 100 yaknow
and then for 3u, i took a shit in the middle of my exam and I got 1 wrong, but have not heard of a 100 SO currently top of the grade for that test AND i took a shit in the middle umad
so. lost a mark for both papers, BUT full marks in eng ext, credits to the beautiful jesspham :)
so happy day is happy, but I just went full retard and couldnt do addition so fuck life. no more 100 for me ever

buuuuut, study study study from now on. nothing else on my mind, just need to fucking study.
however, i have insomnia again so this may be a problem haha

When youre tryna learn notes, you can never forget about the littlest things you need to do, anything to procrastinate, such as blogging. I actually nearly forgot I had a blog heh

But I've got good news for you fellow stalkers of mine.
I'm done :) Done in every way, shape and form,.I am a happy free soul who doesnt need to live in the shadow of others anymore and can roam the streets being myself again.
Ive begun to find myself and here, I'd like to thank those dear dear friends of mine who have shaken me to reality, making me realise what the fuck I'm doing. So thanks to each and every single one of you, although theres like. 5 to 10 of you, but thank you to the moon and back.

And here, I'd like to wish that we can all study together hand in hand as fellow members of our fucking "elitist" group as that woman loves to call us, and.... be cute and get high marks. I don't know.

I don't miss school. I hate school. I want to sit here all my life and just study but never have to go to school. I fucking hate my school now, so fuck you all.
Yours sincerely.

Anyway I bought a new coffee machine and grinder last week, made a nice cup of coffee today :)
750$, nice and delicious, not perfect, but getting there

delicious breakfast a few days ago heh

finally, after a week of working on the fkn sky, i finished this beb. 1000 pieces

and yea, thats a summary of my holiday. pretty sad really.

came home coupla hours ago from frineds house, watching state of origin and hotpoting with the boiz :D then roasting mashmallows in the fireplace so now my hair smells like smoke eheh
nice night out, very sleepy but not bedtime yet

So much has happened the past few days, it's just hit me that I have found myself in the same situation again. No, not the one you think I'm talking about, but rather, I found a special friendship, like one that I used to have, but ruined because of my silly silly mistakes.
It is not unless you are a dependent, yet outgoing person, that you see the value of friendships and begin to treasure them. No, not take them too far, but just the right steps. But then again, it's so hard to draw the line that maybe, it's easier to retreat to where all friends are supposed to stay.

And maybe like I've read, sexual love is not so important after all, but what we need to seek is friendship love and familial love. These types of love that last the longest and are actually safe and comfortable, rather than bittersweet and risky. Are we seeking a sense of stability and something to rely on, or are we merely still searching for impulsive flings?
Then comes the question for me, if its stability im searching for, then why does these stupid little flings matter? I can just mess around and it shouldn't impact me at all because in the end, my friends and family will still be there fore me nonetheless and nothing would have changed.
So should I say, why not, or why bother?

Someone said whatever makes you happy, but we all know that doesn't end well.
Am I risking friendships from doing this, or am I merely enhancing them? I don't know, I just know that I am not willing to sacrifice these friends I've found, for some stupid fucking impulsive decision.
I've taken years to find these people. You don't just take them away from me like that.

ehehehehehehehehehehheehehhe oh gosh im going to hell for being a devil child

anyway i do not feel like working because Im supposed be in city by now but some cunt was like heeeeey lets go city in the morning
and im like nah cbf lets go at 2
then I called and hes like LOLJOKES LETS GO AT 4
thank gosh i hadnt left yet, silly retard

so yes, i have 2 essays to write, just started both of them. can like. teachers please mark my shit and send it back
and im bringing maths to do at the hotel HAHAH im a lil maths freak xoxo

gosh its cold, im gonna freeze to death tonight holy fuar