What happens when you realise that the bad guy was actually the good guy, and the good guy was actually the bad guy?
You thought you could trust someone you have known for so long, someone who has never lied to you before. Then what? Then you realise six months later, that it was all a lie.
Why did you do this to me? Aren't you supposed to wish someone the best if you love them, and be happy if they're happy? Why didn't you say no that day when I asked you? You don't know, do you? The pain you've caused me in the past year. You don't know that I have lost the person who I've loved most. You try and look like the good, nice guy, but you have ruined my life. Do you know what it feels like to live in the shadows of this past that you have created for me? No, you don't, you're fucked up, I fucking hate you.
And I'm not exaggerating about you ruining my life, I wouldn't be like this if I never fucking knew you. I wouldn't have wasted years of my fucking adolescence on you. Who are you exactly? How is it possible to have know you for so long and step back to question who you really are.
And moving on, it's amazing what happens in a night. You can be with the person you love, and you can break the person you love. These nights are the memorable nights, the ones that seem to last forever. Then there's the accumulation of all the other nights where you contemplate these memorable nights.
You were the cause of all this. And what did you do? You came back to me, did not even say sorry, just acknowledged it was a mistake and did not even try to help. And what was I thinking? What was I thinking to trust you so much and tell you everything, help you with everything. And what did I get in return? Did I even get a thank you? Or did you even listen? And what was I thinking that day when I was with you, what was I doing. What have I done.
The pieces fit together now, I found the missing piece. I found the conclusion and the answer to these fucking questions that I have been asking myself for, for half a year. You two fuckcunts have made me waste half a year: half a year of crying and trying to let go of something I never needed to fucking let go of.
Two fuckwits that I trusted the most with everything and it turns out you were the cause for all my misfortunes. Selfish fucking retards who I will never fucking talk to. And if anyone mentions it again, I will fucking go off at them and blow all their shit off.
What was I thinking, why did I trust anything either of you said?
It's funny cause I found more happiness in two weeks than the two fucking years I've been with you.
And why. Why was I not told this until half a year later. God, why.